Feeling Judged?

Release the trigger of feeling judged - to move forward with ease

“Ouch”, you know that feeling when you hear someone say something truly judgmental, and it stops you in your tracks? I immediately feel myself frown as my energy is restricted, and I go inward as my body pulses with heat. “Did I hear that correctly?” It is that pang of hurt that causes confusion. “Do I call them out on that or will I be called ‘drama queen’.

Our minds are judging machines. Everything we experience is filtered, organised, and dealt with automatically. The mind will instantly want to categorise something as ‘right’ or ‘wrong’. Sometimes, these judgments are helpful, yet other people’s judgments can feel detrimental. There is a lot to unpack when it comes to judgment.

The Pattern of Judgment Starts with Childhood

First, I want you to think back to when you were little. What judgments, conditions, and rules did you receive about how we ‘should’ be in this world?

Who made the decisions for you growing up?
Were you allowed to have input into the decisions, or did you have to fight for what you want?
If you had to fight for what you wanted, were you judged if you made the ‘wrong’ decision?
Perhaps you were shamed for not doing/being enough?
or maybe you had the heavy expectation put upon you to get things ‘right’?

We received many harsh judgments growing up. While our parents and caregivers did their best, they also had judgments, conditions, and rules imposed on them. Collectively, these outdated rules helped the family tribe avoid exclusion, shame, and criticism.

What people don’t realise is that this causes our energetic walls and barriers go up. While the walls might be good on some level for protection, it’s these walls, barriers, rules and conditions, that stop us from trusting ourselves in the world.
They also stop us from receiving the full power of joy, kindness, money, and happiness!

Enquire within

To do this type of self-enquiry, it is best to function from being at cause. This means to be decisive in creating what you want in life and take responsibility for what you have achieved and will achieve. Rather than remaining at effect where you perceive to have no power to change the situation.

As an adult, what will it take for you to lower those old walls and barriers, so you have the freedom to enquire within? The first thing you have to do is be aware of the trigger. Sometimes I will say to myself “It’s an interesting point of view, that I have this point of view”. This quickly reduces the instinctive need to justify, react and respond.

The types of questions I ask my clients are:

On a scale of 1-10, 10 being a lot, how much do you believe other people’s judgments are impacting you?
If the impact of other people’s judgments were at a 1, what difference would that make?
What emotional button did the judgment push? ….fear? Anger? Insecurity? Powerlessness? etc
Where else are you feeling this kind of judgment and limiting emotions?

The law of attraction is inclusive, meaning that if you have an unconscious limiting belief about yourself hiding from the world, this energy will attract more of what you resist.

What does your soul want you to learn?

I strongly believe that we all made soul agreements (or contracts) with one another before we came into these bodies. Some souls put their hand up to say, “I want to learn about patience,” and other souls put their hand up to volunteer, “I’m going to teach you patience through pushing your impatient buttons.” These souls who volunteered could be your parents, your neighbours, your children, your boss, etc.

Soul to soul, they mean well, as it is a great honour to come to Earth. Unfortunately, we don’t remember what it’s like to be in these dense bodies when we make soul contracts. If only we knew to minimise the lessons we signed up for! As a soul, one of the main benefits of coming to Earth is to learn about polarities. In our human bodies, we become addicted to polarities, such as measuring good vs. bad, love vs. hate, right vs. wrong, etc.

As an infinite being (a soul), we forget it’s part of our purpose here to observe, heal and shine our light on what I call the sacred neutral.

Free yourself from judgment

Any time we entangle ourselves in judgment (in the good vs bad, right vs wrong etc), we solidify the energy. No wonder why we feel stuck, heavy and drained. We need to be aware of polarity without getting entangled in it. If you think about an area of your life where you have been judged, notice how your body and mind experience that charge. (Even when writing this, I can feel it). It’s this charge that stops us from having the awareness of another point of view.

When we are triggered by judgment we tend to fight against the judgment, or we get sucked into to believing that what they are saying must be true. If you really are invested in releasing the judgment, it is worth journaling or answering these weird questions:

What’s good about this judgment?
What is going on for the judger to have this perspective?
What choices does the judger make in their life that would limit their point of view?

To soften our energy, we need to be mindful and pay attention in a particular way—on purpose, in the present moment, and without judgment. It means being an observer of what is going on around you and being aware of what choices you are making.

Move Forward with Clarity

When it comes to moving forward, the number one thing you need to do is to be clear on what it is that you want. Do you want some time and space to cool down? Do you want to communicate with the person who judged you? How do you want to be treated? What are your boundaries, meaning what is ok in your life and what is not ok? The healing process does take time, however it will be easier to move through when you know what you want to move towards.

Below is a process that will help you shift more heaviness out of your body. It is knowns as “The forgiveness letter”

Forgiveness Letter

Release triggers from the past - to move forward with peace

Letting go of anger and blame is the first and most vital step in healing emotional triggers and releasing the pain that you may have held onto for years. Forgiving someone does not make them right; it doesn’t justify what they did; it just means that you understand and can free yourself of the past. By releasing pent-up emotions around a person or circumstance, we can avoid illness and ongoing stress.

To forgive fully means you release yourself from carrying the negative emotions that kept you angry and small. You don’t need to forgive the person to their face, you don’t need to talk to them … and you can even do this forgiveness process with someone who has passed away.