People Pleasing

Explore why its hard to put YOUR needs first

Do you find yourself craving validation from others?
Do you find yourself feeling guilty at the idea of saying “No”?
Do you have trouble accepting compliments?
Do you avoid conflict at all cost?

If you answered yes to these, chances are, your a people pleaser. People pleasers want everyone around them to be happy… and they will do whatever it takes to keep it that way, even at their own expense. Years ago, as a recovering People Pleaser, I found myself BURNED OUT! I was saying “Yes” to everyone, to help with everything and I was leaving out time for me to charge my batteries. …Sound familiar?

It is time for you to find your voice, know what you want, prioritize you and to be comfortable with your boundaries. Many people think that boundaries are excluding things out of your life. I’m hear to tell you, boundaries are what you will not tolerate AND WHAT YOU ARE WILLING TO ACCEPT IN.  Boundaries will set you free from people pleasing. 

Below is a list of self-reflection questions that will help identify the limiting beliefs around people pleasing. We can easily clear them in a session.  

Explore People Pleasing

Explore why its so hard to put yourself first.

In order to say "No" effectively you need to be in touch with what's important to you YOU - to know your priorities in life. It's much easier to say "No" because we're clear on what we want and need instead.

You ABSOLUTELY MUST say “No” when –

  • You are stressed or overwhelmed
  • You are tired or sick
  • You do not have time for your own self care
What in your life do YOU need to say “No” to? 
(What’s the first thing that comes to mind?!)

You always HAVE A RIGHT to say “No” when –

  • When it’s someone else’s issue
  • When it’s something you don’t want to do
  • When it takes away from your values
  • When you think you’re taken for granted
  • When you deserve or need some time to yourself

Helpful Techniques to say “No” – 

  • “No, but thank you for asking/ thinking of me”
  • “I can’t do it right now – but I can show you how to do it”
  • “I cant do it right now, but I can help once I’ve finished”

Setting Boundaries will set you free - Nancy Levin

Nancy Levins book, Setting Boundaries will set you free, will help you establish clear and healthy boundaries.

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When “No” is the right answer for you, say it pleasantly, assertively and with conviction. If it leaves you feeling strong and good in yourself (even with a small amount of guilt) then you have made the right choice for you.

MORE RESOURCES ON PEOPLE PLEASING

You have mastered saying "Yes". So start saying "No". Your goals depend on it!

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