Why You Feel So Confused in Your Relationship

Let’s talk about that feeling when something shifts in a relationship, and suddenly, you’re spiralling. You’re confused, triggered, overthinking everything, and you’re wondering if you’re “making a big deal out of nothing.”

You’re not.
And you’re definitely not the only one who feels this way.

Confusion isn’t random. It’s what happens when your trust in yourself gets shaken. It’s your body hitting the brakes because something doesn’t feel right, and you don’t have the clarity you need to move forward.

Why You Feel Confused in the First Place

Confusion usually shows up when what you want collides with what you fear.

You want closeness, honesty, and connection.
But you fear rejection, conflict, disapproval, or someone pulling away.

So you end up in this emotional tug-of-war.

Think of a friend you’re really close to ,  someone who’s been part of your everyday life. Then suddenly she asks for space. You can tell something’s going on, but the more you gently check in, the more she withdraws.

And you’re left thinking:

I want to be there for her… but the distance is making me anxious. Why does this feel so confusing?

This is what happens when your truth and your fear collide. When the information is patchy, when things don’t add up, when you can’t get a straight answer, your mind fills in the blanks with worry.

You might recognise yourself here:

• You’ve been shut down in the past for asking questions
• You avoid “making it about you”
• You don’t want to seem clingy or dramatic
• You’ve learned that being open can backfire

So, you stay quiet.
You try to be easy.
You hope things will settle.

But inside, your nervous system is working overtime.

Your body reads the lack of clarity as a lack of safety. That’s when the physical symptoms kick in: headaches, stomach tension, chest tightness, exhaustion, and trouble sleeping. It’s not “in your head.” It’s your body trying to protect you.

And slowly, confusion becomes a holding pattern. You hesitate. You doubt yourself. You follow their lead because it feels safer than choosing yourself.

But the cost is real:
You lose clarity, confidence, and a sense of who you are.

How Confusion Keeps You Stuck

Confusion traps you in a loop:

• You’re unsure what you want
• You overthink every detail
• You replay conversations
• You try to figure out where things changed
• You convince yourself your needs are “too much”

And here’s the part most people never talk about:

Confusion makes you more suggestible.

When you’re overwhelmed and disconnected from your instincts, you’ll reach for any sense of certainty, even if it comes from someone who isn’t actually supporting you.

This is why confusion can be used as a tactic in unhealthy dynamics.
It creates a power imbalance.

The other person becomes the one with the answers, the stability, the “logic.” They position themselves as the one who can help you think clearly, even though they’re the same person who created the confusion in the first place.

Push your buttons → create doubt → offer themselves as the solution.

And in the fog, you start relying on their version of events.

What Do You Do Instead?

Confusion isn’t a sign that you’re wrong.
It’s a sign that something isn’t right.

Pause.
Step back.
Give yourself space to breathe.

Ask yourself:

• What do I actually want, and what am I afraid will happen if I choose it?
• What am I scared will happen if I stop accepting the bare minimum?
• If my best friend told me this story, what would I say to her?

Confusion isn’t your enemy.
It’s an invitation to slow down, reconnect with yourself, and reclaim the clarity that’s already inside you.

Ready to Clear the Fog?

If you’re ready to understand what’s really going on beneath the confusion and reconnect with your own clarity, I invite you to reach out. We can walk through it together and help you return to self-trust, steadiness, and confidence.

If you recognise yourself in these words and feel ready for change, consider booking The Clarity Hour. Together, we can explore what your body is telling you and find your way back to self-connection and steadiness.